Who is really on your side?

Before I begin, let me clarify – I am most definitely not in support of indiscriminate ‘feedback’ or brash outspokenness in the name of ‘Honesty’. I am a firm believer in 
"Satyam bruyat priyam bruyat, Na bruyat satyam apriyam;

Priyam ca nanrutam bruyat, Esha Dharmah sanatanah"

(Speak truth in such a way that it should be pleasing to others. Never speak truth, which is unpleasant to others. Never speak untruth, which might be pleasant. This is the path of eternal morality, sanatana dharma.) 

That said – it remains true that it takes wisdom to even interpret words and intentions correctly.

Have you seen Runaway Bride? If you have , do you recall the scene of the Luau, where all of Maggie’s friends make fun of her past ‘almost weddings’ and our friend Ike is the only one who stands by her. He rises and makes a sharp toast pointing her family’s unkindness; the audience is shamed, if only for a minute. And yet, Maggie loses her temper with Ike! Somehow, that isn’t surprising at all despite the obvious contradiction. It is odd that most people would gladly be at the receiving end of constant raillery and assume it to be in the spirit of ‘fun’. If instead, you tried to have a heart to heart with them and endeavored to make them see how they could keep from being a joke, they’d be much offended. Apparently, all the pointed jokes can be ignored because somehow they are not ‘real’. But in a sincere conversation, you’re making them see the ugly truth and urging them to do something about it. Nobody likes that! So, basically Richard Gere taking a stand in that scene made all of Maggie’s issues ‘real’.. because someone chose to see them and acknowledge them. Until that point she could just have laughed it off and assumed everyone forgot about it. I got thinking as I was recently Ike (though I’m sure I’ve been Maggie at some point).
Do you think you have been on either side?

The Intangibles

In my office, we had a couple of young folks join the Onsite team. These guys were ‘Enthu-cutlets’, as we call them in Pune. Plus, they were joining the ‘Onsite’ team, and if you are at all acquainted with the Indian IT industry, you will know what a big thing that is! They came over with a will to achieve and transform the project between the 2 of them! They were intelligent, but inexperienced – and started working unsustainable schedules. Being an Operations team, we always have something that needs to be done yesterday – so that worked well for me to meet the Team’s SLAs! However, we could see the dangers that lurked – burnout.. apathy.. I would often have 1:1 sessions with each of them and make them aware of things like ‘work-life balance; but to no avail. They were all set to do or die!

So, the long hours and working weekends continued. I could see the strain showing, but when asked to slow down, my trusty steeds would obstinately refuse. Until – something changed. One of the guys arranged for his wife to fly over and join him here. She arrived and things were never the same again! He was still sincere, still hard-working, but now, he realized the importance of ‘time-boxing’ his work. He knew he had someone waiting for him at home, and he needed to finish on time. He started organizing his meetings and his tasks much better. He ensured he was out of office by 5 latest. He started prioritizing which meetings were necessary and which questions could be answered on email. To my mind – he became a much more valuable and mature team member. To my mind – this was an actual ‘Productivity Boost’. But this was not something I achieved as a manager. This was something that was enabled by a completely intangible human factor – technically outside of my team. For this person - it was his family, as it is for most. I know of companies which leverage outside-hometown postings to drive longer work hours for employees. If you don’t have a family waiting at home, you would definitely continue to work.. at office or at home. After all, how many movies can you watch? Or Netflix? When you think of it, it is simple – but rather Machiavellian, I fear!

And then it made me wonder – what are the other intangibles that affect how a team / individual team members work? Tell me what comes to your mind!

The Loss of Naivette

A few days back I found myself sifting some thoughts… and on an impulse put them on paper. I expect this is a part 1 and will go through much improvisation… but felt like sharing it for whatever it is worth in its first cut…

The Loss of Naivette

Life robs you of innocence. The shining faces and glowing hearts with which we set forth into this world soon become tarnished by the harsh, acidic realities of life. We give these realities the name of ‘Experience’; and what we lose in the soft warmth of innocence we gain in the hard, cold armor of self-preservation. This is the obvious; the not-so-obvious is the cyclical nature of this ‘evolution’ …a constant revolution if you may. It almost seems like we let loose a chain reaction every time we open ourselves to a new experience! In corollary, is it in order to reclaim our naïveté that we crave the novel?

The taking up of a new hobby to overcome heartbreak, the buying of an object to get over an intangible loss …a fresh start is almost always an attempt to feel once again the purity of hope, the squeaky cleanness of a fresh slate. A fresh page comes with no guarantees… but in opening it, in opening the doors for new people, we try to find the trust we lost in our old relationships. In finding a new place, we search for proof that our beliefs will be rewarded by a change of circumstances.