This piece is a penning of some of
my thoughts and perceptions on God, Religion, Spirituality, and such. It is
quite possible I see a fractional picture from my chosen promontory, but I put
it in words- such as it appears to my mind. While I do this I wish to state,
nay insist, that I have no intention of judging or belittling anyone's faith.
I have never really thought a whole lot about the God question. For the greater portion of my life thus far, He has pretty much let me be and I have done the same. You might ask me - Are you agnostic then? Or plain atheist? If I say- I believe in God but not in religion- what does that make me? Call me that.
Living in India and enjoying the
culture, it is fairly impossible to stay disconnected from religion -
especially during festivals. Festivals in India bring out the maximum
expression of colour, sound, and of course- faith! We dress up in our finery,
cook the choicest sweetmeats, and directly head to God's doorstep to thank Him
for the bounty - or at least that's the purpose I've always perceived. This
year, the spirit of the season took quite a grip on me and I felt a strong urge
to visit the most popular Ganesh Temple in the city! In my college days, I
remember I'd be there on Padwa Pahaat - dawn of the New Year. I must confess,
what brought me to the temple that day was equal parts nostalgia and curiosity.
Curiosity- because I don't know what one calls that feeling of 'exploration'
one has... an attempt to understand what it is that drives so many but eludes
me!
With a scrubbed face and shining
spirit, I reached the temple. Temple- God's abode- full of riches and
pleasures; what I met with though- was poverty. It begins at the first step and
continues right to the altar- that slow whine, that suffocating stench of
poverty. I speak not of financial dearth (though I am sure it plays a role). I
refer to the poverty of spirit - so much more disheartening. Call me an
idealist (we're looking for adjectives anyway!) - But I firmly believe that God
is where I find peace and satisfaction. What I saw all around me was 'want'.
People queuing up to bribe the Lord. Promises and Threats. I had hoped to see
joyful faces - I saw instead, hasty greetings, perfunctory courtesies and a
task struck off the day's checklist. I saw beggars turning peoples' fears and
insecurities into capital. I saw all that was weak and depraved in human
nature. Everything that shouldn't belong in a place of worship. There was pain
and there was dissatisfaction. The God here seemed distant, faraway...
disappointed.
I do understand that many people
have real and great sorrows in life and they will turn to God for solace. What I
complain of though is the 'business' of God. The 'let's be done with this'
sentiment. Visitors of the almighty were in such a rush to say hello and get
back to their festivities that they had not a moment to sit or to say a simple
sorry to the fellow they had had just nudged past. Does praying once a day,
excuse us from common courtesy to a fellow human being? The vendors refused to return a greeting,
unless you were bringing business! Even the donation box seemed to look accusing
if one failed to give it its due coinage.
I sat a distance away from the
hustle-bustle of the crowd in a somewhat pensive mood. And my mind drifted back
to an afternoon a long, long time ago- somewhere in Konkan. We were traveling
with family friends and stumbled upon an old Shiva temple. A beautiful stone
structure with no one but a solitary Brahmin
to keep the God company. We washed our feet and settled down on the temple
steps absorbing the peace and quiet. And then arose a tune- my uncle, a
classical singer. He took in my surprise, and said- "It is a temple. This
is Saadhana (worship)." For I
don't know how long after that, he sang Raaga
after Raaga... friends and family offered
their share of talent... and the afternoon was a symphony of love, gratitude
and camaraderie! This was our offering to the Lord- a fraction of all that He'd
blessed us with. This was Peace. This was Joy. This was the presence of God.
For me, He resides in Art. Others perhaps
see His presence through formal prayer. Whatever the form one's Faith takes, I wish
it'd be wholehearted and sincere. Whatever form your God takes, I do believe He
shouldn't be the in the shape of a Need, a Fear, a Routine. May He be all that
is the richest and finest in us. It is with this prayer that I left the temple that day.
