What women want is a mystery it seems. Freud started this
sham. How convenient!
Who, irrespective of gender, does know their mind? And
again, irrespective of gender, who really wants anything outside of the usual-
love, respect, and good humour!
Recently, I witnessed / heard some stories of men who may or
may not have read Freud. But who have definitely gotten it right as far as
knowing ‘what their woman wants’ goes! (While I see these stories from a woman’s
perspective, they can just as well be read as beautiful examples of
companionship! :))
Couple of months back, we went to see the famed Flamingos of
Bhigwan. Rather atypical of a tourist spot, upon setting foot in Bhigwan, one
is not thronged by dozens of touts, each pushing his boats merits in your face.
It is quiet and one or 2 fishermen will calmly approach you and ask if you wish
to hire a boat. The negotiations are friendly and usually end on an agreeable
note. In our case, we were approached by a fisherwoman. As is expected for a
woman of her limited means, she was lean; but her eyes shone with keen
intelligence. The usual negotiations regarding price and distance took place
and a mutually agreeable arrangement was reached.
Since it was somewhat late in the day, we had to go quite a
way out. On the way, we met a returning boat full of people, and our boatwoman
introduced the boatman of the other boat as her husband. Then she went on to
tell us how she usually did not take up boat-rides by herself, but had him by
her side. With her stories and ours, we continued to float in pursuit of the
elusive Flamingos. The pleasantly warm morning started to turn into a scorching
afternoon, and as the sun rose we started to feel increasingly concerned about
our boat-lady who was beginning to look rather weak. We turned around and
started making for the shore, expressing the concern we felt; unfortunately,
there wasn’t much we could do to help. Turned out there was someone who could
though... and he did too! Just a little distance on our return route, sat the
lady’s husband- waiting for us! Once we got closer, he swiftly jumped aboard
and took over the oars from her. His care for his wife had brought him all that
way out walking- after depositing his customers back to the shore! The
relief that flooded the woman’s face on seeing him was more beautiful than any
poem or love ballad ever written!
That’s something a woman wants- someone who understands the
unspoken.
A little while after this incident occurred, I was narrating
the story to my aunt; and she had her own little story displaying how without
‘higher’ education or culture-conditioning some people just instinctively get
it right! They are sensitive enough to see, and brave enough to give, exactly
what the other person wants.
This aunt of mine is a doctor by profession, and at present
is a full-time counselor at a rural hospital in Alandi. She has consciously
chosen this profile to fulfill what she sees as her commitment to society and
her profession. She began to tell me about a couple who walked in for a
pregnancy check-up. The woman naturally gave her case history, at which time,
the first thing she mentioned was- she was HIV +ve (she did not have AIDS; she
was HIV +ve). Naturally, the obvious sequence of questions followed- Did you
know before the pregnancy? Was your husband aware of this? And, turns out- he
was! She was HIV +ve due to breastfeeding from her HIV +ve mother. This man-
her husband- was not HIV +ve; he was healthy in every way. He knew her history,
her medical condition, and still wanted to be her life-partner! And now, they
were having a baby- and both of them were doing all they could to keep it from
inheriting this terrible legacy.
That’s something a woman wants- someone who stands by her.
The narrative left me speechless. My aunt is quite a
creature. She told this story to me, and within minutes, she herself became a
story in this same stream. As we rose from our tea and chat session, she
happened to mention how she was looking up references and cases of HIV +ve
couples so she could help this duo and then added- your uncle and I will be
discussing it tonight. My uncle- her husband- is a doctor himself; yet, I found
this rapport a bit surprising and said so as well- ‘You have conversations like
that? Where you actually sit down and discuss?’… I could hear in her words and
voice of her answer that yes- they not only spoke, but they shared the same
language! How many couples, in this day and age, set aside an evening to have a
quiet meaningful discussion- that doesn’t pertain to kids, money, family! It
wasn’t surprising, of course, that they talk or discuss things… but they were
actually taking out time to exchange ideas, share perspectives over something
that was not strictly ‘personal’, but which she cared about – and hence, he
cared about!
That’s something a woman wants- someone who listens.