Nothing to lose

A long while ago I wrote on chain reactions – wondering about how in the most busy times, we are usually at our best creativity. Please note I use the word ‘creativity’ and not ‘productivity’. :-) in a similar observation of the contrariness of how we function, I put to you – that we invest our best efforts at the initiation and end of every engagement. This thought does not spring from the logical assumption that we would naturally put our best foot forward at the initiation of a new project / relationship; neither does it stem from the guess that we end things well to leave a better aftertaste. More than anything, I feel at the initiation and culmination of things – we have nothing to lose!

Imagine this scenario – you have joined a brand new group for a social project. You arrive with no preset notions, because you are meeting a host of new people! In addition, you are uninhibited because there is no past performance you will be pitted against – this is a blank slate! Anyone who has had to bear the brunt of their own past success, will know this is not an easy weight to carry! It is almost easier to carry off failure – because again, nothing to lose! Sallying forth without an opinion on your part or your companions’, you are already prepared to give of your best. Think of all the picnics you had with friends of friends, the teams you joined as the only outsider… wasn’t it always more fun? Weren’t you almost always a completely different and more driven individual? If you’ve already accepted you can’t dance, you rule the floor just by moving the way your body likes! No performance pressure.

Similarly, when I move towards the end of any engagement, I find myself more eager to converse, more enthusiastic to share. And I feel certain, this is at least in part due to the fact that I lose the fear of messing up and living with it. All of a sudden I know – even if things don’t quite work out, we’re already moving towards the end. This is a completely upside-down way of thinking, but more often than not we function this way! I’ve lost count of how many friendships I’ve formed in the last few days of a course, project, vacay…

The fear of living up to an image is a great burden. We put it upon ourselves. If we could carry on with the same uninhibited way even after building a reputation for ourselves, perhaps we would be able to invest with the same frenzy throughout. If we could care more about who we are, than what we portray – we could fly free. If we could truly understand the transience of what we do, what it says about us, and how it fades – we could focus on the actual doing. Then again – easier said than done.