It's fairly simple, Freud!

What women want is a mystery it seems. Freud started this sham. How convenient!

Who, irrespective of gender, does know their mind? And again, irrespective of gender, who really wants anything outside of the usual- love, respect, and good humour!

Recently, I witnessed / heard some stories of men who may or may not have read Freud. But who have definitely gotten it right as far as knowing ‘what their woman wants’ goes! (While I see these stories from a woman’s perspective, they can just as well be read as beautiful examples of companionship! :)) 

Couple of months back, we went to see the famed Flamingos of Bhigwan. Rather atypical of a tourist spot, upon setting foot in Bhigwan, one is not thronged by dozens of touts, each pushing his boats merits in your face. It is quiet and one or 2 fishermen will calmly approach you and ask if you wish to hire a boat. The negotiations are friendly and usually end on an agreeable note. In our case, we were approached by a fisherwoman. As is expected for a woman of her limited means, she was lean; but her eyes shone with keen intelligence. The usual negotiations regarding price and distance took place and a mutually agreeable arrangement was reached.

Since it was somewhat late in the day, we had to go quite a way out. On the way, we met a returning boat full of people, and our boatwoman introduced the boatman of the other boat as her husband. Then she went on to tell us how she usually did not take up boat-rides by herself, but had him by her side. With her stories and ours, we continued to float in pursuit of the elusive Flamingos. The pleasantly warm morning started to turn into a scorching afternoon, and as the sun rose we started to feel increasingly concerned about our boat-lady who was beginning to look rather weak. We turned around and started making for the shore, expressing the concern we felt; unfortunately, there wasn’t much we could do to help. Turned out there was someone who could though... and he did too! Just a little distance on our return route, sat the lady’s husband- waiting for us! Once we got closer, he swiftly jumped aboard and took over the oars from her. His care for his wife had brought him all that way out walking- after depositing his customers back to the shore! The relief that flooded the woman’s face on seeing him was more beautiful than any poem or love ballad ever written!

That’s something a woman wants- someone who understands the unspoken.

A little while after this incident occurred, I was narrating the story to my aunt; and she had her own little story displaying how without ‘higher’ education or culture-conditioning some people just instinctively get it right! They are sensitive enough to see, and brave enough to give, exactly what the other person wants.

This aunt of mine is a doctor by profession, and at present is a full-time counselor at a rural hospital in Alandi. She has consciously chosen this profile to fulfill what she sees as her commitment to society and her profession. She began to tell me about a couple who walked in for a pregnancy check-up. The woman naturally gave her case history, at which time, the first thing she mentioned was- she was HIV +ve (she did not have AIDS; she was HIV +ve). Naturally, the obvious sequence of questions followed- Did you know before the pregnancy? Was your husband aware of this? And, turns out- he was! She was HIV +ve due to breastfeeding from her HIV +ve mother. This man- her husband- was not HIV +ve; he was healthy in every way. He knew her history, her medical condition, and still wanted to be her life-partner! And now, they were having a baby- and both of them were doing all they could to keep it from inheriting this terrible legacy.

That’s something a woman wants- someone who stands by her.

The narrative left me speechless. My aunt is quite a creature. She told this story to me, and within minutes, she herself became a story in this same stream. As we rose from our tea and chat session, she happened to mention how she was looking up references and cases of HIV +ve couples so she could help this duo and then added- your uncle and I will be discussing it tonight. My uncle- her husband- is a doctor himself; yet, I found this rapport a bit surprising and said so as well- ‘You have conversations like that? Where you actually sit down and discuss?’… I could hear in her words and voice of her answer that yes- they not only spoke, but they shared the same language! How many couples, in this day and age, set aside an evening to have a quiet meaningful discussion- that doesn’t pertain to kids, money, family! It wasn’t surprising, of course, that they talk or discuss things… but they were actually taking out time to exchange ideas, share perspectives over something that was not strictly ‘personal’, but which she cared about – and hence, he cared about!

That’s something a woman wants- someone who listens.